I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
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