i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
