Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
