Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
