If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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