it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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