Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize