God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
