that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
