there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
