I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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