i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
