Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
