Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Drunk is not a location!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
