38 yer olds are good kisserssss
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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