I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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