Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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