Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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