Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
