I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize