He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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