i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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