clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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