Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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