I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
