Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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