Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
