I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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