Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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