Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
