Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
