worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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