Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
