Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You smell like stripper and shame
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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