Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize