Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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