i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
