Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
