i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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