You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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