I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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