I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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