It's just like the Real World with babies
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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