I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
