Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
