why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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