Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
