This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
