He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
