all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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