in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Found the puke drawer
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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