it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
