I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
A bitchslap is in order.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
