Buhtt sex?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We were destined to go to rehab together
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
