Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
