So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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