butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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