Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
