Quick, to the slutcave!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
