It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
