I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you traded sex for a burrito?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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