Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
