she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
