I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
