I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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