seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
